I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
