just tell him i said nine months
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
