The maid of honor just puked.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
