I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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