Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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