I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
