the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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