I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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