It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
