Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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