oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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