i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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