clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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