Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
