Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
