It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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