Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
