Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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