ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
