Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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