Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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