Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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