I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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