Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it's like iHOP with fire
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
