maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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