walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
