actually, I'm a sock model
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
we're so committed to being not committed
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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