idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
