I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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