I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I enjoy the company of your penis
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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