Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just want to make out with him forever
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
