Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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