What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
