U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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