she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
