Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
