my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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