drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
