wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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