My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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