You made me cry and you don't even care
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
