so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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