So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
