I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
