they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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