So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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