The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
