CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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