: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
