How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
