I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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