matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
